My two cents about love

Love, some people refuse to talk about it, while others won't shut up about it. And what's the big deal anyway? I never really gave a lot of thought about it until I held my father in my arms as he bawled into my shoulder. And to think, he's supposed to be the strong one... I've watched love bring people unlimited happiness, but also watched as love pushes them off an already shaky ledge and sends them into a void they see no end to. My brothers didn't handle it well either in the beginning, saying hurtful words they didn't really mean because they felt like they needed someone to blame. That was what happened right before I held my sobbing mother close to my chest, telling her it wasn't her fault. At times, I've realized when something isn't working, you need to resolve it sooner than later, otherwise the problem will only get worse.

"I can't help feeling like I failed as a husband."

These are words I never thought I'd hear my dad say, yet here we are. Of course I can't blame him. It really wasn't his fault. He did the best he could.

"I was so young, everything was happening so fast. I thought I was happy, but I couldn't help feeling like I was still waiting for the spark..."

Was 20 years enough Mom? And I never knew. That masked behind the plastered smiles, there was a child who was still afraid of the dark, until now... So of course I support you and love you both. How could I not? You were the best parents any kid could have ever asked for. 

"As it turns out, getting married is a lot easier than getting divorced..."

I'm gonna have to take your word for it Pops, yet, as all of this is unfolding in front of me, I can't help feeling like all of this is backwards, like someone switched my part for what was supposed to be my parents.

"I have to admit, I can't help feeling a little jealous of you. After you broke up with her, I saw how free you were, and can't help feeling like I missed that. The time I had to be free and fly on my own."

Well, nows your chance Mom. And what timing too? Now we can fly together. But jealous of me? I never thought that taking a stand for myself would inspire my mom to do something she's wanted to do for years.

"Your dad just gave us the news, I would have never guessed that this would happen... are you handling everything ok? I just want you to know that I'm always here for you."

Thanks uncle Justin, I know you mean well, but that's what everyone says. And ya, I'm handling everything a lot better than people think I am. In fact, with everything going on, this has given me some time to really think about what love is all about, and this is my conclusion. Right now, people everywhere are searching for love from others, because they have forgotten how to love themselves. We desperately cling to the idea that someone is going to fix us by loving us more than we possibly ever could. But we're wrong... Because there is no possible way any of us could accept more love than we allow ourselves to have. So before you continue your endless search for somebody to love you, learn to love yourself first. Because the truth is, I don't need anybody to love me, except for me. And if I truly love myself all the way to my core, then love finds me. A wise man once said, "you will only find what you are looking for, when you stop looking so hard. Learn to be at peace without it, and it will find you." Now's your chance to be free. Now's your chance to dream the impossible dreams, to test how far you can fly, to find your limits, only to discover you're limitless. And finally, to learn that despite what you once thought, you don't need anybody else to do this. So don't wait until you've been married for 20 years to jump, do it now, before you have a chance to think twice. Don't miss a thing, and whatever choice you make, make it with no regrets.

With every step you climb another mountain,

every breath gets harder to believe,

you make it through the pain, weather the hurricane,

to get to that one thing.

Just when you think the road is going nowhere,

just when you almost gave up on your dreams,

they take you by the hand, and show you that you can,

because there are no boundaries.

-"No Boundaries" Adam Lambert