Watching her heartache, was harder than feeling mine

My heart is like a stallion, they like it more when it's broken.

Saying goodbye to you was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
We kissed that one time afterwords, I still have the picture of the Polaroid.
But since then we haven't talked, at least not face to face.

But today,
seeing you made me excited and terrified at the same time
It reminded me of good times we had together
but it also reminded me of why I had to end it all

I loved being with you
but there were always a few things that bothered me
and it felt like a constant war was raging inside my brain
and I couldn't decide which side I was on

Honestly, after it was over
I thought you would hate me.
But seeing you today made things better
It made it easier to confront the things I felt like I did wrong

The way I lied and always said I was happy, even when I wasn't

When I pushed you a little into making a choice neither one of us
were entirely ready for

For being too willing to jump into something deeper than I could handle

"I said I'd never let you go, and I never did, I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it"
With as much as I wish it were true, it wasn't

Seeing you happy now makes me forget a little about the heartache I caused you.
Because I can never forgive myself for watching your heart drop to the floor
And I wasn't there to catch it.

For that I am truly sorry

But now I have another chance with someone else,
So this time, I plan on doing things better.
Not just for her,
But for me too

So thank you for that

Math, Contacts, and Diet Coke

For this story, you need to understand a few things. Back in elementary school, I was a pretty quite kid, who did a way better job at paying attention then I do now. Smart alec responses that I thought were usually reserved for my friends later when we were alone for lunch. Any remarks I made in class were directed towards the lesson, but that doesn't mean I didn't think of funny remarks to the situations to myself. It wasn't until about junior year I started voicing these thought for people to hear in the moment. However, one day in the fifth grade, I was feeling a little more bold than usual. We were in the middle of a math lesson, and we somehow got on the topic of glasses vs contacts. I'm pretty sure my teacher was making a comment of how she needed glasses in her old age, and my friend mentioned that she should get contacts instead. This is when I raised my hand. One last thing you need to know, is that this particular teacher loved to drink diet coke. And she just so happened to take a big swig right as she called on me. My response was, "Get contacts, it will help you obtain your natural beauty." with a helpful gesture suggesting I was lifting my long locks on the right side of my head as I said natural beauty. This happened to be so unsuspected that she began to laugh, taking that diet coke back up, out her nose, and all over the overhead and her math notebook. This moment, still stands as one of my crowning comedic achievements, because the laughter in the class didn't subside for another 5 minutes, and only continued after she shot me with a nerf gun as punishment. So Mrs. Rasmussen, this one goes out to you. Thank you

The Mask is Off

“The moment we cry in a film is not when things are sad but when they turn out to be more beautiful than we expected them to be.”
― Alain de Botton