Math, Contacts, and Diet Coke

For this story, you need to understand a few things. Back in elementary school, I was a pretty quite kid, who did a way better job at paying attention then I do now. Smart alec responses that I thought were usually reserved for my friends later when we were alone for lunch. Any remarks I made in class were directed towards the lesson, but that doesn't mean I didn't think of funny remarks to the situations to myself. It wasn't until about junior year I started voicing these thought for people to hear in the moment. However, one day in the fifth grade, I was feeling a little more bold than usual. We were in the middle of a math lesson, and we somehow got on the topic of glasses vs contacts. I'm pretty sure my teacher was making a comment of how she needed glasses in her old age, and my friend mentioned that she should get contacts instead. This is when I raised my hand. One last thing you need to know, is that this particular teacher loved to drink diet coke. And she just so happened to take a big swig right as she called on me. My response was, "Get contacts, it will help you obtain your natural beauty." with a helpful gesture suggesting I was lifting my long locks on the right side of my head as I said natural beauty. This happened to be so unsuspected that she began to laugh, taking that diet coke back up, out her nose, and all over the overhead and her math notebook. This moment, still stands as one of my crowning comedic achievements, because the laughter in the class didn't subside for another 5 minutes, and only continued after she shot me with a nerf gun as punishment. So Mrs. Rasmussen, this one goes out to you. Thank you